I've been doing music for sometime now, and I've made a lot of mistakes! I've second guess songs that will now forever live in my MacBook hard drive, I've been scared to take risk that would have paid off or been a lesson learned. But 5 years in playing it safe does nothing besides make you the butt of jokes, if you have a dream you either choose to chase it 100% or let it go. Theres no reason to waste your time and energy into anything that you are not going to give your all! Like Drake in 2016 this summer is mine! I made a choice and that choice was to succeed.
The day started like any other day I woke up from a great night of sleep, but I wasn't home in Cedar Rapids. I woke up in my moms house It felt like it did back in my high school days again, but this day was different on this day high school Tee Jay achieved what he could only dream of. On this day I was set to have my homecoming show. With the most craziest nerves, I was filled with joy, but scared as if I stood at the edge of a ledge. My open mic experiences have always had a bad turn out when I'm home, something has always happened, focused to change the curse I got ready to start my day and pictured myself killing the show all day! As my day went on with excitement, I went to visit a few friends and catch up with some family members before the show. Then came time for Mic check, it was 7pm. I took the subway down to the venue with Ham and he really took some pressure off the nerves. Once we arrived Ham and me split and I was to see him later once he and a friend made it to the event for support. At Mic check all alone while everyone else had come with their team and friends I had to get up in front of my peers and practice what I was to do again in front of a room full of people. With my leg shaking like a blender making smoothies I got on stage and as confident as a child at their first talent show and said I'm ready to the DJ, from that point on the rest was history. It wasn't until after this show that my confidence set in that I can make my dreams more than a reality with hard work. This show was more about proving to myself "hey you can do all things you put your mind and heart to."
This isn't like the first show, this show feels bigger! Not just because it was my first show booked where they founded me, no. What made this show Differnt from any show I will ever get book for and have been book for... This is my homecoming, I haven't touch the stage in NYC in over two years. I feel confident, I feel excited! I already can picture the crowd and how they will react...at this time of my life is where it started to feel real I'm flying back home to do what I love in the city that I love! What a time to be alive!!!
I felt it the whole time during the process of making this tape. This was going to be the tape to change everything, this is going to be the game changer for real! But I never knew how, so following my heart and giving my all. I spent nights without sleep, time away from my family and my daughter. And on October 20, 2016 it all became worth it. The response I've gotten from the first day of the tape was bigger than I thought! not a million people, but on this day I felt the love and support of my true supporters and it was like no feeling before... This was a small step to a big future! #DeeperThanMoney
If you haven't heard by now my next project is going to be entitled, Deeper Than Money. Things are much more different now. This is my third solo project if you count So Much To Live Up To, I have grown so much over the time in between each project and life has taken its own turn as well. This will be the first project I'm doing since having a daughter, also I'm engaged now to my beautiful fiancé, life is so much different. During More For Me Less For You, I was a college student with a dream trying to get through school and make time for my passion. Musically I have definitely grown you will for sure hear the difference in the music, from beat selection to wordplay and subject matter. But this post isn't to talk about the improvement or the content of the new project. This post was meant explain the meaning behind the title. Deeper Than Money, which was inspired by Logic's song with the exact same title. In the song he asks "what really makes you happy?" This struck a chord with me, made me think what makes me happy? because like I stated things have changed in my life I went from being a normal young adult to a parent with bills and responsibilities. The title is actually meant be stand for where I'm at in life. Yes, I want to be paid for my talents and live out my dream, who doesn't? But its deeper than that, I am now a father, and as father I have to set an example for my child. I want my daughter to know that life will throw you obstacles and times will get hard, but no matter what you do never give up on your dreams and aspirations (what makes you happy). There will be times that you may want to quit or it may seem like the best thing to do at the time, but there is always sun after the storm. If you don't attempt to make yourself happy who will? As for the cover, the dollar bill reads "Root Of All Evil". I interpret that as if you do something just for money it's not pure, it's not done with positive vibes or good intentions. Money can't be the root of your happiness. Even the bible has a verse for that, "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows" (Timothy 6:10). So I picked that cover because I thought it really reinforces what the title means to me.
During my trip to New York I had the wonderful opportunity to appear on the Always Be Closing, radio podcast. It was a wonderful experience we had an amazing talk about music, drugs, #BlackLivesMatter, #BlueLivesMatter and even Taylor Swift. I even released a new song the fifth installment to the Thoughts series [Thoughts V]. Check out the podcast in the link below if you have an iPhone click here for the podcast I appear on episode 58. have so much more coming for you guys!!!
The other day I was thinking back to my first performance back in 2013 at the Sidewalk cafe. one of the most scariest times I ever had with music. I use to think that it was the worst performance ever, now looking back at it, it wasn't so bad for my first time that stepping on stage. It definitely helped give me something to look back on to improve and be prepared for my first show. I'm going to be traveling back home to NYC in a few weeks to visit family and friends I plan on doing some shows for sure!!. I will keep you guys posted on Just incase you want to pop up, but for now here is a look at my first performance ever!!!! video shot via Christopher Hamilton .
It's May 19, 2016 I wake up earlier than normal, on this day my life is set to change forever I couldn't help, but wait to start my day. Why you ask? On this day I officially became a rapper. Yes, I know I have been rapping since 2010. Yes, I had music out dating prior this date. No, I did not release any new music, but on this day I was booked for my first live show.
So the other day while I was at work I came to realize that this life wasn't meant for me! I wasn't meant to work for someone, I wasn't meant to do the basic 9-5 job for the rest of my life. I know you are probably thinking Tee Jay everyone says that!!! "What makes me different?" I felt this in my gut and my heart. When you feel things in your gut or your heart, you have to follow it... Let me take you back to my last week to explain.
Last week I started to really get frustrated with my job and by this I'm talking about the normal "I hate my job, but I'm still going to show up to make this money" type of deal. Yea I may not agree with the way my boss does things, like how she talks to and treats people at times. Over the course of that week I would begin to see things I would call a sign from God saying hey its time to follow what you were placed here for. I started to see more inspirational post on my Facebook timeline which by the way never happens!!! One of the post that stood out most was one of Steve Harvey telling his audience behind the scenes, hey if you don't like your job and you wake up every morning to go there and your not happy, you should quit! It all seemed so simple, quit! God did not put us on this earth to be sad and miserable he truly wants us to be happy beings.
But as anyone would say "its just an inspirational video for anyone Tee, what made you realize it was a sign for you?" Well throughout the rest of that week I would go on to see more signs on my Facebook timeline from people posting videos about how we shouldn't hate Mondays anymore to status from family about people never getting to live their true purpose. A few days go by and I still feel like I hate showing up to this place everyday with every bone in me, just to make ends meet. I walked into my job thinking how much I didn't want to be here at that time and this shirt that wasn't there the day before stood out to me and I normally don't pay too close attention to the shirts at my store especially one in girls section on top of that. Now your probably thinking Tee that shirt was going to be there no matter what its part of your stores marketing, but the night before and many other night throughout the week I had prayed that God show me a sign that music is my calling, its what I'm meant to do. So back to where I was, I walked into my store and I actually clocked in and all that blah, blah, blah talk to my boss before she left for the day and I was standing behind the counter and this shirt in a section of the store called Live Love Dream, read "follow your heart".
Instantly I knew If that wasn't a sign from the man above than I don't know what is. That whole week I hated showing up to that place just the thought of it made me feel eww, and I never felt more passionate about disliking work. Others times I would dislike it then come to conclusion that this might be the rest of my life and try to actually get a love for it. I have been there for a year and my thoughts of wanting to quit to pursue my dreams started at 6 months. I believe that if it lasted this long and I tried my best that I shouldn't stay somewhere I am not happy or feel unvalued. So from this day forward I Terrence Walters-Mack, vow to take more steps towards my goals and less towards dead end roads. I will try my best to document as much of my journey as possible and I hope you can support and learn from me in this journey we call life....